Tuesday
Feb252014

The Truth is the Truth

Recently, I have made a depressing discovery.  It seems that I, Shelby Louise Stockton, must acquire a boyfriend.  I don't necessarily want a boyfriend, but all of my friends are hooked up in relationships, and per usual, the cheese stands alone.  

Although I enjoy my alone time, I am a very social creature.  Too much solitude makes me anxious.  I usually have a stacked social calendar, but lately I am finding more often than not, that at the end of the day, I have no plans. A gal can take night time yoga classes for so long.

There are a few reasons why having a BF does not work in my favor.  I don't like checking in with people.  As a Scorpio, it is not natural for me to "share" all aspects of my life, as benign as they may seem, with another person.  It bores me.  I also think that men are a lot of trouble. The return is not worth the investment.  Not only that, but the saddest moments of my life have always been while I was in a relationship and the happiest are when I'm single.  Do you see the conundrum?

But I'm bored, so I may as well get on the relationship train, even if it's for a bit.  One of my friends will surely break-up, and then I'll be back in business.

But something is holding me back, and I haven't been sure what.  Until now.

It's Stamos.  I have this unfinished business, and I feel that my life will remain stagnant until I accomplish this goal.  I don't know how to do it, but it must be done.  We know what doesn't work - love letters, songs, flyers around town, pleading to Ellen Degeneres...  The list goes on and on.  But if I don't reach this goal, there is a good chance that I will die alone in this attic, with a toned yoga body.  I'm reaching for the sleeping pills now.

I encourage any advice or ideas that anyone may have to win Stamo's sympathy.  I'm open to suggestions.  My life kind of depends on it.  No pressure.

Wednesday
Feb052014

V-Day 

So much is happening with JS, I don't even know where to begin. And by saying that so much is happening with JS, I mean so much is happening with HIS career.  He has done absolutey nothing to try to make my wish come true.

All of my leads have not delivered, but as a pessimist, I thought such would be the case.  It's fine.  I mean, if I didn't have this blog, what would I have?  When I reach this goal, I may just roll over and die.

Although this happened last week (week before last, now), I'd love to show you a cute sketch my man did with some of the Full House cast and Jimmy Kimmel.

Let's discuss.

1)  Check out the clothes in the closet.  Do you think Kimmel really wears camoflauge? 
2)  That pencil bed rocks.
3) Jonathan really is cute, and in my humble opnion, a convincing actor with cheesy nostalgic material. 
4)  Those boys sure can harmonize.

And then of course, there was the Dannon Oikos Super Bowl commercial.

I have something to say about this commercial.  First of all, obvioulsy I wish I had not only auditioned for this advertisement but also booked it.  I could use the cash, I would have accomplished my goal, AND I would have kissed my Jonathan.  Whatever.  I'm over it.

Today is Valentine's Day.  I have 3 engagements on my schedule.  That's right.  I'm popular.  So enough of this jibber jabber.  Go out and enjoy the day.  It could be your last.

 

Wednesday
Jan222014

Super Bowl and Miss Universe

So much is happening right now, I don't know where to begin.  I will tell you that I am so in love with sleep right now that I have decided to work from bed today. Except when I have to go to yoga, and then sub 1 class, and then tutor 2 students, and then have 1 drink with 1 friend later.

Unless you've been under a rock, you have probably heard about the Full House reunion Oikos commercial that will be running during the Super Bowl.  The Super Bowl gets all of the good stuff.  Here I am, blogging my little heart out, and what does the Super Bowl do?  Just generate millions of dollars.  Apparently that's what it takes to get JS.  Take a look at the teaser

.

He seriously is the cutest, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'd have a better time hanging with Bob Saget.  Next blog, perhaps.

But there's more...

I don't want to get int too many details, but here's the Reader's Digest version.

I have recently come to know a former Miss USA/Miss Universe.  She knows my man.  They used to hang out back in the day.  She assures me that she will do what she can to make this meeting happen, but y'all have been here with me since the beginning, and we know how these things go down.  Keep your fingers crossed.  

I have no yearning to work today.  I need a job.